Time

   I was looking through my best friend's facebook pictures and I found this today. This was me three years ago. I feel as though I have aged so much! I kind of hate it. That picture was back before everything happened. That was before the love came, and the hate, and the storm, and the sadness, and that was before my family deteriorated into nothingness. 

   I think at one time, I was very happy in my life. Nashville was full of adventures. 

   Maybe happiness is a choice, and maybe embarking on it, in itself is an adventure. 

   I wish I could turn back the clock. 

   But it's odd. I don't know if I would have done anything different. 

 

  Maybe, I just want to go backward to experience something big...maybe to feel it all again. What's that Goo Goo Dolls lyric? "When everything feels like the movies...yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive." I wish I was still bleeding again. Then I wouldn't feel so clouded and listless...like an aimless wander; a much older aimless wanderer. 

   I miss baby Jade. 

  I know nothing in life as unforgiving as Time.